O. Henry Pun-Off 2007

I had pun in the sun pretty much the whole day Saturday (05.19.07). Started the day with a 17-kilometer walk/jog on the Town Lake. In the afternoon, Rama and I went to the 30th Annual O. Henry Pun-Off World Championships (organizers called this event, Austin's thirty little secret!). We topped the day off with The Road to Austin concert sponsored by Freescale and watched Bonnie Raitt play guitar from a close distance. Though I am not too crazy about her music, we waited in a 1/2-mile long line for entry, as she is a famous singer who won nine Grammy's.

The coolest thing for the day was the Pun-off. I am impressed by the ability of some of the contestants who came up with a rapid fire of puns. The rules were simple: Two or 3 participants would go on stage. The judges give them a (random) topic and contestant #1 should fire a pun on that topic within 7 seconds or so. Then, #2 will have 7 seconds to come up with a pun on the same topic, and then it would be #3's turn. They keep taking turns - the last one standing wins.

Those who fail to come up with a pun and those who make more than two unsuccessful attempts get eliminated. They keep changing the topics very fast (the participants will not have prior knowledge of the list of topics). This event went on for about 5 hours as there were a large number contestants.

The judges and the emcees were real pundits with very keen sense of humor. They spun funny yarns on the names of the participants, pun topics, weather, ..., just about everything.

Here are some puns I liked from O.Henry Pun-off website punpunpun.com! I heard some of these b4. I provided links to a couple of items as they probably are not well known outside the US.

For a fencer to admit that he's been foiled is a hard thing touche.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower.

2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds.

Paradox: Two physicians.

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billygram.

1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Finally, here is a creation of Mr. Gary Hallock

We've Bin Laden him alone for years so why is George Bush so determined to kick Saddam's a#@ now? It's obvious he wants to divert America's attention from the tanking economy. I think he just wants to give Saddam a whoopin' of mass distraction.

Waging war in the midst of a recession is a sure fire way to put our economy into the tank. Speaking of things going into the tank, how about the price of gasoline lately? When I filled up with regular yesterday at my local Diamond ShamIraq station I sure felt sorry for the poor ethyls whose cars use premium. I'll bet they wish they would OPECed a more fuel efficient car. Even if this war is over quickly, it might still create a long termoil crisis ANWR likely to see troops drilling in Alaska soon.

The Turks are still not shore they want us to Ankara ships on their soil so Bush appears ready to take Kuwait and sea attitude. Christian soldiers in our Navy have always been able to warship freely in the open sea so I guess they may have to sortie things out for US. At any rate Bush seems pretty Syrias about pressing this war. So by April 15th I'm sure Saddam will wish he had arranged attack shelter to
cover his assets.

Why does Bush have such great attraction
To press for this bellicose action,
Our troops to amass
To kick Saddam's a#@
A whoopin' of massive distraction?

2007 O.Henry Pun-off Awards