Keep Austin Weird

Red Wassenich's new book, "Keep Austin Weird: A Guide to the Odd Side of Town," (like there's a side that isn't odd?) was printed in China, which makes me wonder what the printer said when he checked out the photos.

"America's a funny place. Why's a man in a bikini standing on the corner?" Hey, buddy, that's Leslie. Red, a librarian at Austin Community College, is worried that Austin is losing its goofy edge with all the monied interests moving to town and yuppying up the place. "I think the low point was a few years ago at the Four Seasons bar when they had a $95 margarita," Red said.

I bow to Red's expertise, since he coined the overused and increasingly trite expression "Keep Austin Weird" a few years ago when he called a radio station fundraiser and just said it. And sure, not everyone appreciates Austin's quirks. "That's always going to be the case — that's why we have Dallas," Red said. And an interstate to use to move back there.

But I really don't think Red has to worry. Some of Austin's new stuff is even goofier than the old standards. In his book, Red shows a photo of three people dressed in fuzzy, bright-yellow chicken suits for Halloween. Can that compete with the Austonian, the pricey condo tower coming to Second and Congress that will feature a doggie toilet on the 10th floor so Fido won't have to go outside to hike his leg on a transient?

Red's book also shows a South Austin backyard decorated with lots of baby doll heads. Does that play in the same league with Scott Roberts, owner of the Salt Lick in Driftwood, who is planning to build luxury homes with a spa near his barbecue place? Swell — meat meets massage. Maybe you can get rubbed down with the same rub they use on the brisket?

"Keep Austin Weird" (Schiffer Publishing Ltd., $24.95, available at BookPeople and other outlets) hits most of the old oddball Austin highlights. "It was great because it made me get off my (butt) and attend all these weird events," said Red, who spent about nine months researching the book. "Every weekend I had to go to some tattoo show."

He attended the classics, like Spamarama, the Spam cookoff. And he hit "some of the little more offbeat ones, like the Edible Book Festival, which happened to be at the same time as Spamarama." That would be a great weekend, huh? First you're eating Spamsagna, then you're choking down Grapes of Wrath. "They were both inedible," Red said of the two festivals.

The book has a lot of great photos with plenty of color. One photo shows a bright green entry in the Edible Book Festival called "20,000 Leeks Under the Sea." "It's a pan of Jell-O with some leeks underneath it," Red said. If you ever saw Stevie Ray Vaughan (the man and not the statue), the book offers few surprises. Leslie appears on Page 72. An Austin-weird book without Leslie would be like Rushmore without Lincoln. Nik the Goat, pardoned by Mayor Will Wynn so he could remain in his yard in South Austin, comes along three pages later. Sandwiched between them is Kinky Friedman. If I were Kinky, I'd move to another page.

Red won't get rich off this book. The publisher didn't pay an advance. Red took all his own pictures. "And I had to pay for the photography, so I'm out money." If the book sells he'll get some royalties. Not that he seems to care about the poverty. It's the aesthetics that concern him.

"One of my really favorite things is the Chicken (Poop) Bingo up at Ginny's Little Longhorn (Saloon) on Sunday afternoons," he said. "It's a really neat scene. It's one of the things I really like about Austin. It's a mix of old hippies and old kinda country people and punks, and you don't find that too often in Texas."

Oh, Red figures Austin will keep its weirdness if the economy sours. "We're in a boom now; there'll be a bust. There always is," he said. Me? I think Austin will stay weird even if the boom continues. It'll just cost more to see it. How many million-dollar condos do you know that have pooch commodes? Trust me. They ain't getting one of those up in Ithaca.

Article: John Kelso's column in Austin American Statesman on May 15, 2007.